45. without me

Today I am thankful that world and life are going on without me. That I could leave my input but to the minimum and my engagement with it was but a few words and a bit of food. I have checked out and remain so for a bit longer. Live a great life, dear world!

44.serendipity

Today was one of those days when things strangly fall in place and happy turns are found along the way. I slept few hours in the day and felt trully rested. Had a great walk and talk with my son. Got the earth and planted the herbs. My camera is working again, thanks to my husband. I started cleaning around listening to some gipsy music (if I should move around and dance through the work with the smile on my face I need my heart to be emersed with the right energy, that is) and a good friend dropped by and gave me a hand. Which gave me a moment of time to listen to one lecture of a dear teacher of mine, which in it´s turn I discovered was on just right in time because of opening my e-mail to do the last piece of my work-related stuff in the day. So, really, day can best be described by the word serendipity (happy accident, pleasant surprise).

And me being me I went to look up the word, just to round the day and discovered that the word came to use at the end of 18th century from a Persian tale - Three Princes of Serendip (relating apparently to Sri Lanka). Look it up if you will. I´ve also read a beautiful thought of Rumi shared by an friend and remembered another by Tagore. Sometimes there is much that fits in a day and gifts are many. For all of them I am thankful and hope to keep the memory of it to pave my trust and pose for days I may forget it. Thank you.

43. With a smell of herbs

There are three things that really made my day. I´ve seen some very beautiful pictures and read some wonderful words to it, on two different places, by two different people. In one day. That I call feeling blessed, nourished and inspired.

Third thing is a basket filled with fresh herbs. I will try to get new earth and few more of them, so they can grow better and larger, but for now I can look at them and smell them and I just chewed a sage leaf. Besides it, there is mint and lemon balm, oregano, thyme, basil, rosemary, dragon and parsley. I almost feel at home.

I do not wish to ignore the part of the day that isn´t so great, do not want to cover it up by focusing only at the great things. I felt for the second day uneasy and I slept badly in the night and despite my endeavour I did not make it to fall asleep in the day. That too is a part of this day and deserves my acknowledgment. Hopefully, whatever that is bothering me will find it´s way to clarity and resolve.

With it, nourished by great words and pictures and wonderful smell of herbs, touched by the sunlight in the day, I shall wish for strength and wisdom in the coming day, for focus to do things that need to be done and I shall give thanks for this many gifts of today. Good night good world.

42. Rain

I must admit that today I was not much focused on the attitude of gratitude. I busied myself with myriad of small things to think of, of worries, concerns... It is also one of those days when my sense of smell is overly enhanced and even the flowers smell too strong and I focus, unfortunately, on many bad smells. Even my mind went that way.

So, as the day was nearing it´s end I wondered what moment of this day, whatever small thing is there I could focus on in gratitude or some kind of admiration. Did I do anything worth keeping? Aa I, in my mind, turned the leaves of hours of this day I stopped at the picture of my legs walking through the high grass, while walking at the edge of the field where two men were placing seeds into the ground. While I was there I was busy with my erand, with what I needed to ask, what I needed to arrange and still do in the day. But looking back at the daily pictures and memory of my own moments of work in the earth, picture of today´s high grass, green and wet, earth, flat orange-brown seeds of the beans in the opening, and rain, drops of rain touching me.

At first I could not even remember if it was raining today, until I remembered the touch of it. Freshness and slight cold of the air, movement of the wind. Rain, of course, I am surely grateful for the rain! Everyone was talking of it in last days, that the cold is coming back and that it may rain. People wish to keep the sun, but, as much as I do also wish for sunny days, just days ago I notified that wells are getting dried and that possibly both plants and animals out there in the nature may too be in a need of water. All those trees that celebrate in a full bloom, all small flowers of whild strawberries to be, blueberries in making and lillies of the valey along the road, they need the water at this moment in time. I too need a moment of shade and coolness, a moment to pose and look for a comforting time of a blanket and a hot cup of something reassuring that life will move on and move the best way it should.

And I am grateful for a moment where I could say a word of encouragement to someone on the way to their trial, however insignificant it may be, I am a person that likes to place a good thought and a prayer into the life at times. So, at the end, there were many, many things to be grateful and happy and thoughtful about. Seeds given into the arms of the earth, nourished by rain and called out by the sunrays will break out from darkness, strech their hands and give gifts of fruits in due course of time. To nourish and to return into the making of the earth and life. Thank you!

41. tracks

This day was about some fun and sunshine and also of many news of all kinds. A day presented some questions, some unexpected turns of events and insights into choices of life. And I will leave it with it, thanking for the day. And then I shall pray for new doors and windows, for new lights and warmth, new roads, more wisdom and even more strength and for the safety of few of those whose path touched mine today and left me, although not wishing to take sides, left me with a need of prayer on their behalf. And that would be all for today.Thank you, good world.

40. reflections

After a few hours of good work and a pleasant lunch outside I sat in a recliner in one of the rooms at work with intention to find and adapt one of the lists. My idea was to print it out and then get for a walk to find out who could fill the gaps in the coming week before the planned co-workers are arriving.

But, I have been feeling kind of otherwordly today and sleepy somehow and whether it was the heat of this last days or something else, I had suddenly succumbed to sleep. After a good hour of that in between state I woke up but the feeling did not leave me. I guess at times inner processes that are not so strong or visible still take some of our energy and focus.

Although I would wish for some more strenght and ability to focus on more hands on things, I surrendered to my needs of slowing down this afternnon/evening. This brought me to watching one video on empathic communication that was rather interesting and perhaps just a bit felt as world was aligning with my inner needs of hearing equal minded people and something fun and uplifting. For the whole day and all that it brought I am grateful. And I pray for good rest and new strength, wisdom and play in a new day. Good night, good world.

39. terrible pain

Today I am present to sadness, to discouragement, to fanaticism and all the sadness it creates inside me. I am present to honest insight of my own wrongness in the eyes of others and in the eyes of different judgments that are in the world. And present to the feelings that creates. I am grateful for it and anything that may be born from it. I pray for wisdom and for strength to not remain with anything that is opressive to who I really am and that I take shelter of those things that willl fill me with the matter of my goals, such as peace and trust and wisdom and strength and love. Thank you.

38. spring

This day was sunny and warm and as I walked the streets I marvelled over the way nature celebrates, bursting with beauty, holding nothing back, with bright colours, with smells, with soft breeze and so many birdsongs and sounds. Creation without reserve, nobody out there feeling need to hide the beauty they are, nobody feeling need to be quiet, or urge to feel bad about who and what they are. Comfort of such a wonder, gratitude for a moment of being part of it and being touched by it.

37. Sun play

This was a day of work and reading. And a day where I felt tired early so I am considering a slow and early evening. An interesting thought worth seeing as a gift presented itself.

I came to think that at times we are given all the knowledge and all the instructions, but we may lack the trust or even more likely the ability to comprehend what was given and how to handle it. Most likely, at times our gift is so powerful and so wonderful that it temporarily paralizes us, possibly even scares us, overpowers us and confuses us, quite alike a strong sun in it´s giving warmth and light may cause us to end up with a sunstroke and a sunburn. A case where we end up confused, with a strong headache, inability to deal with sounds or anything really and with a pain in the whole body. Further on with a skin that burns and will eventually peal of before we can confortably use the new one and rested gain back our ability to think and work.

When I was young I lived by the seaside and thought everyone regularly got burned in the summer and would shed skin after applying yoghurt to it. I also thought everyone knew that hours between 11 and 15 where those you should spend in a shadow and resting and also did so. That was my world. Now I know things may be different. Yet, my adventure with the sun and play around it´s presence in my life, here talking of metaphor, still continues. I shall hope to apply my knowledge of sun and try to avoid too many sunburns and hope to be aware of sunstrokes so I may approach them accordingly. Grateful for this interesting pictoresque thought.

36. Choices

This was somewhat quiter day for recovery and reflection. Biggest gift of the day was presented in the form of choices, either taken or to be decided over so they may be done. They called for reflection and at this point in time I realize I am in a need of prayer for rather few of them. So, I pray I may find the right answers, right guidance and then right words and steps to execute those choices and I trust they will come when time is right.

35. headache

Today was a day of a headache and lack of sleep as last night turned out to be a difficult one. It was also a day of lots of work, many people and discussion of numerous issues. I had witnessed a lots of qualities I do not appreaciate very much in people around me too. Which always makes me feel overtaken by them for a while.

Gift of this day was freedom and ability to speak, as well as one of being able and free to leave the room for a moment when words were too harsh for my ears and yet it would have been inapropriate to react from the place of raw emotion on them. Thus I could return when more at peace.

Gift of headache and it´s difficulties is not one clear to me, but I took it and made it through and I am grateful for a moment where I can pose and hope for a good night sleep ahead. Thank you.

34. madly happy world

Of all the gifts in this day there is one I consider very precious. It is best described by saying: I have seen God madly happy and now thing I wish more then anything else would be for Him to be forever so. It makes everything else, if you at all are conscious of it, feel perfected. I am gratefully in awe.

33. Tasks

This was a day of many thoughts, drops of small insights and experiences. I wrote down a few this morning and noted in few words the others during the day. I am thankful for them and for chance and time given to be present to them.

One thing particularly worth notifying here is that two of my long term heartaches and heart desires formulated themselves together with such clarity and ease that I was stunned with the simplicity and impact of it. One of the two is compassion and my, possibly first ever touch of experience of real compassion. The other one is understanding of what is my way of contributing, what really is the task I have actually been asked to do so long ago, task wich is teaching (and practicing and learning) the meaning of being personal, reality of rendering personal service. Those two were so touching and beautiful insights in the midst of many gifted today. So, for them I am grateful and pray that I may learn how to work with them and grow.

32. Seeds

Today was much about seeds of thoughts, ideas and actions of life. I am writing them down where I usually do this kind of things and am giving them time to grow so I may see what this is all really about. Here and now I give thanks for all those seeds and all the small moments that feel like breaking the earth and pray I may remain in growth.

31. After 30 days

I believe that when we put even five minutes a day aside to focus reflectively over the day behind us with gratitude and acceptance of gifts presented and with a prayer for a new day, I believe that everything else somehow starts building around it, responding to it, aligning with it. It becomes a center of balance and movement.

It is quite possible that biggest change happens in our own consciousness and our way of seeing things, not necessarily in the world around us. I believe that brings with it, even if subtle, signals to the world of what we are ready to give to it, and what we are ready to accept.


After 30 days of rebuilding this habit by writing a daily diary of gratitude and reflection here I am back to practically experiencing and thus concluding that gratitude has a positive effect on my life and would recommend the process, in whatever way works best for each person doing it.

This was a long day with much to do, also much acomplished and day filled with, however short, meetings with new and wonderful people. On that note I check out for this day, with deepest gratitude for all given so far and with a prayer that I may remain in growth. Good night good world.

30. Much in a day

And then tere are days when you wonder how it is possible all of it happened in just one day. This day was mostly about meeting people, connections, new persons and of course a bit of the ordinary work, just spead up  a bit. But there are few things particularly worth keeping.

Some people come in our life as pure blessings and there is few such people I met recently, or realized as such and I am amazed of their greatness in this regard and wonder how did this happen, them being there. Nevertheless I am grateful, so very grateful for their presence and deeply touched and inspired.

Other people simply touch me and inspire me by their own being and their ways, their kindness, readiness to do things, creative or generous ways. Of course, all of those people can at times burst out with unpleasant reactions, I am not saying they are not humans, but I see and admire and feel inspired by their wonderful qualities and they count a bit more.

Lots of work can actually be done in one day, with a little focus, presence to time and a good portion of blessings, or kind of luck.

There were few burst of people´s sorrow coming across as anger or unpleasant words that bounced in the space of this day around me, but somehow they drawned in the light of this day and it felt as if that is the right perspective of such things. For that thought I am thankful.

In last two days I spoke with many new people and although ours was but a brief touch, rather few of them inspired me by their open and inquisitive character and more then few by their eagerness to convey their own appreaciation of what was being given to them, eagerness to give thanks, see things as gifts and as one older lady said - seeds of thoughts and events that will flourish with time in their lifes and give them even more.

Lastly, but not the least, I have asked for and received a beautiful gift of help of my neighbour. For it I am very thankful and hope it will return to her threefold.

29. facing myself

This was an interesting day filled with work, meetings with some rather interesting people and thinking over days ahead.

This day also placed me in a position where I had to think over my own views of world again, when it oposes someone elses view. As this issue of my position as woman and my understanding of it seems to be repating itself rather much lately, I simply cannot ignore it and have to recognize that there is something I may need to adress there, face myself and accept my opinions with peace and strength.

My first reaction to this is fear and tiredness and doubt. But I am going to try not to pull back, nor to start building defenses. Although it is difficult and it breaks inside me, my mind screams and my heart shutters, I pray for the strength to remain and for the wisdom and peace to give it love it needs. It feels like the absolutely worst time for this.

So, this day, I am grateful for this demand of facing myself, my fears, my concerns, my frustrations, my defenses and for the chance to meet them in another way. And I pray for finding a resolve, ending and a new begining here. Thank you for the tomorrow.

28. Remain

• 

  
  

  Inspired in this thought by a friend:

  I like to believe that whenever we allow us to be present to the pain of others and to the pain that echos in our own hearts till it fades without pushing it forward, shaping it in a particular way or running away from it, I like to believe that in that moment a bead on the abacus of life is moved to the light side. And that perhaps a drop from the well in our heart turns a shade lighter.

   My friend´s mother passed away early this morning and I wish her a good journey and I keep in the memory a beautiful caligraphy in her living room of words she cherished - Bismillahir rahmanir rahim. With those words I bid her farwell.

  
  

  
  

27. talk

There are those days when one gets a chance to pose and talk with people one likes or trusts at least a bit to be present to it. And I mean like really talk, of things that concern the heart and touch intelligence, not just our everyday small talk and matter of practical questions. I had that good moment today and as always I pray for more of them.

26. Being

Well, despite my intention to keep a daily routine, this last days I have been in need of extra sleep, so this post comes a day later, although the reflection of the day was done yesterday. It was a basicly good and simple day, with work, few inspiring moments with children who always gift me with their deep thoughts and interesting questions and a day that ended with a wonderful walk by the sea.

 It left me, caused by a morning phone call, with a thought that we all have our own connections with the supreme, our own lessons to learn, our own ways to do so, things we have to go through and that so it is with others too, friends, relatives, people we work with and that all we can do is extend our presence at times and be patient with both them and ourselves and compassionate with what is going on rather then judgmental or demanding. And perhaps, at least in my way, present to a prayer and offering of gratitude.

Being out in the nature is of course as always a reminder of the intrinsic design in all life and creation, complexity and beauty, all of which invokes awe, gratitude and perhaps a touch of falling in love with the life and what is behind it.

25. Death

I am writing an early (afternoon) post as I feel like life is running out of me. I am so very tired, not really know why, but I guess I need to go for early sleep.

When I stepped out of the car arriving home from work today my phone rung and I answered to the voice of a friend whose mother is on the way to leave her body. A convrsation thus becomes a mixture of logic, phylosophy, consolation as well as of sadness and tears. For, however wise we my be and knowledgable, there is also a need to acknowledge, accept and be present to the tears, to inevitable strain of change we all meet throught our lives in so many ways. Death is no exception, especially of someone close and dear. In many ways we and things around us are born and reborn every day. So is our movement, through bodies and lives and changes till, we hope, we are born in a realm of something eternal, made of light, knowledge and bliss, of what we all are, basicly leaving the coats behind and becoming us.

But, for the time being, with whatever death that is happening inside me that may be causing me to fall into tiredness and retreat from the world, I will retire to repose and recharge. I am grateful for this reminder that comes in form of tiredness, reminder that I need to stop, pose, step out from my daily action, to be reborn and returned on my next part of the journey.

24. Insights

This was the day of inner movement. Outwardly it was much about resting and making some small order of things. Mostly, this day was about insights of which many came and I am not going to share them all here as it would take more space and energy to follow it then I intended this writings to do. But going for a few.

Insight was reinforced on the subject of individuality and independency of our (particularly spiritual) endeavours. I can shortly summarize that while we all know how to walk, or how to write, or talk for that matter, what we do in our daily life with that knowledge and tools is and should be very individually adapted and it will require that we execute our right of decision, thus independency needed from general population. Although there will be interdependency and interconnectedness with others, there is none else alike us or with the same possibility or purpose in that big whole and we stand alone with responsibility and possiblity to be -us.

Reading throgh one blog that is on the list of blogs of someone I know I noticed that lady wrote of subjects very similar to mine at just about the same time. Often this interconnectedness and my touch with it leaves me confused and uneasy, but today I realized that very fact that I am not alone with the thoughts should actually be encouraging and help me dare share it, allowing them to be expressed, in my way.

Third insight was really a seed of a story caused by reading a "word of caution" on yet another blog that reminded " Let us be aware and cautious of any unnecessary fears in our life." as fear blocks love out. A thought worth to remember and keep.

So, while rain and darkness fall outside, I give thanks for people placed on my path, for their wisdom and their kind and sharing hearts of inspiration and for insights being born from them and I pray they be seeds of my own kindness and wisdom and shine on my path.

23. wind and water

I spent much of the day reading, writing and even thinking a bit. All things I like and am always grateful for time to do them. But there were two things today, although rather ordinary, that I find worth remembering and thanking for too.

My first meeting with the wind today was on my way to pick up my son from his english class. This time it was not the gentle breeze but real powerful and a touch cold wind mixed with the air still wet after rain. Walking down from the hill it reminded me of my childhood time walking down the hill toward the amphitheatre and feeling almost like flying on the wings of the wind.

Then this late afternoon I joined the rest of my scouting family on their outing with the canoes. Air was filled with water, indeed it was even raining for awhile until my younger son turned on Purusa Sukta (an ancient chant describing the creation of the material world) and convinced me it was in this way he made it stop. And then, together with that whipping and cold wind, there was the sea. Shore is for me a place where I feel closest to experiancing a feeling of altar of nature. I always seem to long for the sea. This place is only but minutes drive from our home and I should visit it more often, for my own self. Sand under the feet, trees behind and then water. I seriously liked helping kids get in and out of their canoes and simply being there, submereged into beauty of nature and the evening. Just days ago I longed for the sea and when this oportunity arose I took it. And I am very, very grateful for it, for this day and all it brought with it.

Good night, good world.

22. just me

IT IS DEFINITELLY JUST ME! I was told that just about 5 hours ago, probably billionth time. I think I have finally gotten it. I was told I am just an odd exception then and thus I cannot really know anything. Cool! Actually, really.  If there is no way my world can align with the rest of it, I may just as well start living mine. Which means I may leave the table next time too when things are being said I do not wish to hear any more. I may keep no grudge against people that said it and may help them with whatever they ask. I can be just me, both ways. I may believe I know things, for they work in my world. I may be sentimental and terribly logical and throw quotes of high wisdom or be shallow at times. It is all really my fault (ha, ha, only in my world of course) and my responsibility too. But, mainly to myself. And my God. Life presents us with doorways where we least expected them and offers us new horizons.

This was in many, many ways a terrible day. For over a day I felt some uneasiness, I slept badly and I have been fed thoughts of kind I do not like to associate with. I turned into a lion and almost turned the tables upon hearing for one time too many someone talk ill of someone I care for and speak of things twisted times too many to count.

But in there I found a treassure to keep, a power and freedom of my own judgment and choices. Experience of anger, of disgust, of disappointment, momentary breakdown and strangly, a way out of it, to myself. There really is none remotely alike me out there, who thinks and feels alike me. I really am all alone and possibly all wrong, in the eyes of others. So, it is only with my own soil I can work, in my own soil I can learn. Just as a plant that has been used to certain place and climate may not thrive when moved into another space, so it seems I am, odd perhaps, but just me. For this moment of being me and finding me (which does not happen that often), I am grateful.

21, moved

21, which is really 20 b, as we are still in the same day, but this day did call for two separate writings.

I spent much of the day talking, of issues, problems, plans, troubles, heard of disappointments and not so good things, but then there were few minutes of something that moved me. A lady I spent much of the day with spoke of great yearning for deeper understanding and heartfelt endeavour for our entrance to higher realms of effort on our spiritual path, of three pills (she quoted a teacher I hold dear) one of which is empty, one containing a poison and one medicine, from outside alike, but with different content and different result when taken. It was not so much the words that moved me, but the feeling she was talking about and expressing with those words. Feeling I recognized as few moments of treasure in my life, moments where I felt moving deeper, higher, closer to myself, toward honest presence of all I am and I am not and presence of kindness, gentlness and strength, as well as serenity and some grave touch of something enormous and breath taking. Place where I wish I could reach more often, as it is cleansing, safe, peaceful, inspiring and possibly intoxicating.

For this moment that moved me, I am thankful, as even a memory of it, moves me closer to it.

20. finding an old friend

When I came home from work today I sat down to deal with some e-mails, mostly work related and pressuring me to attend to errands of others, some of which are rather complicated. Then my eye cought previously missed part in one of the letters, request of my letter of recommendation from another menager on another side of the world but I was taken by the name signed.

Today, while at work, I went to check on holy bushes I take care of, moving some earth for repoting that is to take place soon, I somehow remembered a lady that many years ago helped me repot such plants, also in month of May. A jolly and inspirational lady and a mother of a dear friend, who too is very inspiring and jolly a person and who many years ago put up a play (and I am not liking it only because I played main lead) rather expertly. The very same person whose name was signed under this letter of request.

I have a picture of his daughter as a baby in my room, baby that I saw as my god daughter. How amazing are our lives, how people get to meet, inspire, create, then leave, yet never leaving as memory moves us forward, till we in some unexpected and intricate ways meet again, if even shortly, to be reminded and inspired once again. For this moment of finding and meeting a friend I am grateful. For the intricacy and insight of the ways life is being executed, I am thankful.

19. singing

I must say I feel easier when others lead singing, my voice is not something I easily share, but that is not to say I do not like to sing. So, when I yesterday evening arrived at the temple hall, empty and quiet but for the sound of the bell acompanying arotik I remembered the evening before and the smile and happiness a song brings to recipient of the arati ceremony. I reached out for the cymbals and sang. I do not know if it brought any happiness, my singing, but I did it anyway and I found, as always in that song, a touch of peace and joy and a reminder of home.

18. Heart´s song

And then there are days when everything you dreamed of comes through and just a little more. Of course, I am not going to leave you with it. Already this morning I have decided that the point to be thankful for today will be music, experience of singing and hearing a song of the heart. It was simple, I knew I was going to be doing that during the afternoon. In this regard I have gotten today more then I really ever dreamt of I would and my heart is happy and filled with the song. I am so very happy that my heart dances inside so my steps are turning into dance. But there were even more gifts.

A few incredibly wonderful people around me. Rather few wonderful children that I shortly worked with. And then time spent where I feel most at home and place where I feel absolutely happy to the degree very few places can come even close to, sea side being one such place on the account of being what I would call the sanctum sanctorum of the creation. Doing what I really feel makes most sense doing, simply worshiping the Creator is an act of giving that always ends up feeling as if it is me that is receiving, me that is being filled. Another touch of dancing in my step and a smile in my heart after it.

Then, more wonderful people around me, sitting in the car, singing a prayer, an ancient chant. Singing children and a beautiful, beautiful moon. Whole day feels like a gift, wrapped with a golden shine, a touch of amazing gentlness. Oh, yes, some morning reading, writings of a friend, inspiration, I guess I could go on for awhile counting. I expected rather little of this day and sitting here now I am taken by all I have gotten home with at the end of it. Tonight at last minutes of my work I stood there thinking how will I ever be able to give back even the smallest thank you for it all. But greateful I am and thank you I say, hoping it means a bit.

There was one more thing, rather odd and misplaced in this accounts that made me happy today. When I was walking to the car I passed by our neighbours door, open, and from inside I could hear lound, and of course gypsy, music. I do get moved with it, although it was not what I was about today, but it touched me, even shortly and it made me smile. So, for that little touch I give thanks too.

But I hope and pray that I will be given many more days like today, many more evenings of song and worship, which really means happiness and peace. So, thank you, for the past, for today and for the future and gifts it brings. And I shall hope it will bring this kind of happiness and peace to others too.

17. Moving through inspirations

There are people in my life, people I actually know, friends or relatives that are my inspirations in life. I am of course not always aware of it, or remember it, but when they come by my life some way or another, by writing, saying something, or by me seeing a picture of them or remembering them, they touch me and they inspire me.

This morning I watched an aquintance of mine dance in a post on her blog and two things moved me and made my morning happy and inspired my whole day. First thing was a great concordance between her and the wind during her dance where at the moment it looked like as she danced with it. Another thing was her honest writing. I always get touched by people who however difficult at times it may be, opt to walk the path of honesty and self presence.

There is another frined of mine I then remembered who writes a lot of inspirational words and has once on his blog posted a great poem about inspiration of a morning. In this way I move from one inspiration, often through association, to the next memory and next inspiration. And as I said, there are many of them. Real, living people, living glorious lives, glorious by the fact that they are present to them and filling them with the wonders of their own beautiful beings, however difficult and confusing and confronted they may feel at times. People kind enough to share of their lives and their beauty.

I am thankful for their presence today and any other day in my life. At times I walk not noticing a day, but when a cloud ready to poor it´s rain captures me with it´s beauty I may look down by the road, following the thought of the rain to come and notice those beautiful flowers that were there for awhile while I walked around asleep to the inspirational presence and reality around me. This is perhaps why we need inspirations, to be our starters that move us to notice things that bring good colours to our own life paths. Thank you.

16. Burdocks and laughter

Well then, yesterday was a day in which I could count difficulties and things that really did not work out the way I wanted them to, or expected them too. At the end of the day, I was sitting in the car on the way home thinking of childhood days when one would come home with pockets full of trinkets collected; stones, flowers, broken glass pieces in different colours (you could keep green or brown coloured ones to watch solar eclipse, that is moon cover the sun), marble and mosaic pieces from the car park dirt outside the home and at times one would end up with those pricky brown things from a plant called burdock (kind of a thistle) stuck somewhere on one´s clothes. Then sorting would begin and much of what looked attractive out there was not a keeper at the end of the day, flowers would wither away, stones were just stones and some glass taken out from the sun did not seem as special while burdock with it´s dark brown colour and prickiness rarely had a reason to be kept.

Yesterday evening, however I thought that at least one burdock needs to be kept in this treasure box of mine, as a reminder of all of those pricky things that we may dislike and wish to discard as fast as possible. Firstly, thistles are actually good things in many ways, healthy stuff too and not as ugly as one would first think. But kept in a treasure box they are also a reminder.

There will always be people in your life that will think differently and annoy you greatly, that you will find wrong (even at times when really you are wrong), that will say or do wrong things, times when you will forget something terribly important, when you will miss a deadline, when you will feel loneliest you ever felt so far and biggest looser you could ever feel, or when you will come upon a person who seriously believes women do wish to be raped and will work on convincing everyone of it. It is to remind me of all those things I put a burdock in my treasure chest today. And then, right next to it, I am going to put a laughter, right next to a piece of beautiful glass to be named Hope.

I know it may sound cheesy, but at those times when life really feels tough and you are not ready to be helped by phylosophy and high thoughts, when you do not wish to be patronized by others supportive words, when there is little that can really help and sunny day outside rather menages to annoy you then to cheer you up, there is always  one thing left - laughter. Not a thiny smile, but a loud, huge and long laughter. One that gives everything a perspective and eventually presents you with hope.

I found laughter during the day that made me keep the burdock and believe in friendliness of hope. That is where I place my grace for the day.

15. Breeze

I went to pick up my son after his english class and very soon realized that I have overdressed for the weather. Heat came so sudden and with such great difference to two days ago that even I see it I am not awaken to it. On the way back we were met by a breeze and it felt so welcoming, so comforting and soothing as if the world itself stretched it´s arms into embrace. I was so grateful for it. I love wind, it makes world come alive, the life breathing breath.

I must also thank for a dream, one that involved snake and a rosary and for all that I discovered from it, such as a wonderful personality of Don Bosco and his inspiring deeds, as well as some of his own interesting dreams (one of which, as it turns out, is called Snake and a rosary).

Much in this day went slightly differently then planned today, not everything seems just right, but I suppose that with times gifts of it will be revealed too and in the mean time, the sun and my sons were rather beautiful rays of joy in this day dotted with incredible gifts, some of which appearently come as confusion of things.

Thank you and good night, good world.

14. On the road

Todays gifts were numerous and I had to see that my hands are careful with putting them down at their place of worth. At times we all need a change, a movement, a step away. Today I got mine by my family hitting the road. Four hours drive in one direction gives some time for family sharing. Day was beautiful and warm, 33 degrees in the sun in the middle of the day. So, few of the gifts:

Beautiful early morning. Quiet, fresh, with touches of sunrays promissing lots of gold. Roads almost deserted and peaceful. Nature awakening around us.

Visiting a family relative who just filled 70 today. Eating lovely lunch and her salty cake with a tomatoe flower on the top. Wonderful couple to spend a day with. A song of good wishes.

Seeing yet again that beautiful painting made by a family friend, an Indian, portraying his wife offering a ghee lamp. Colours of green and blue and such a wonderful light.

A walk in the nature and a lots of beautiful pictures taken of the spring arriving, nature awakening.

Cutting grass, some good motion and a smell of it, newly cut. A little help also for the couple and a small thanks for a beautiful day.

Reading a book, work relating, one read many times but always inspiring.

Movement, nature passing us by, few moments of sleep while rest of the family is engaged in story telling. And now, sun has set, darkness is slowly falling, there is more cars on the road and soon arrival home. Day of numerous blessings. Thank you.