Well, then. I´ve had a few days without writing something. Partly, I have been too tired, partly there was something inside me, a kind of grief that has overtaken me. It is hard in such a state to be present to anything else but state of pain and confusion and not the easiest time to formulate moments of gratitude, touch and mindfulness.
But, there were such moments. There was a moment my son and I came out of the store and it started raining and we run through the rain and got wet and that made us laugh and touch of rain made me somewhat more present to the here and now. There was a pot of fresh sage I got in a present and I do like sage and not so long ago I thought that of presents, a pot of herbs is really amongst top ones on the list. The rain again, partly for matching my own inner world, also for opening doors within and of course for moving the state of standing tension in the air into something moving and refreshing.
A hand of God in myriad of small things and movements that all tried to move things my way and cheer me up, although at that moment I haven´t recognized them they did move me and that is how I am able to be back in writing today and here.
A good night reading for my kids, finally big enough for Harry Potter time, in English of course. Sometimes, inner work takes time and it ain´t pretty a picture. Nor it is a light time to walk. So, I will give it it´s time and try to be present through it here as much as that works. But, for tonight, for the rain and moment of presence, thank you. And, good night, good world.
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