12.Sickness

I feel sick today. Whatever treasure can a day of sickness bring, I wondered? I have pain everywhere and feel real weak. But then, there were few things...

Some years ago I watched few episodes of series I could not remember the name of, nor did I knew the name of the actress and somehow, laying down, I remembered it today and typed in the google search what I could remember of the series, few words description: series about female professor who is also a relic hunter. It was not more complicated then that - relic hunter. Simplicity of things, posing for a moment and focusing, that may be all we need at times. And time and oportunity for it may just arrive in the midst of a sickness. For this insight I was thankful.

Then, I was reminded of the song - The answer is blowin in the wind, and it brought light smile to my face and moment of deep contemplation over world and us humans and our choices. A gift of a song and a gift of a spirit that song delivers. I was born some years after Dylan and Baez became famous, but their tapes were in the house when I grew up and they touched me. Grateful for that spirit, for gift and reminder of a song.

And the song reminded me of mother Teresa and her work, but particularly of a fact that she wrote letters to a confessioner and friend in which she admited moments of difficulty and struggle, of doubt, of being bogged down with things she faced. She has been a beacon for many, inspiration for more then a few, but for many years I did not much pose to wonder where and how she reopened the source of her own strength and inspiration, or how she walked through the days of darkness, keeping on toward the next moment of light and air of goodness. Somehow, I must have believed that light has been her ever presence, some superhuman goodness residing in her heart and guiding her vision. Fact is, she was simply more ready to be used for goodness, more willing and more wishing and more hoping then we at times chose to be. Somewhere she decided to surrended to a trial to walk such path, but decision and endeavour did not remove thorns or shadows from it, rather, they placed candles along the dark hallways and granted moments of spring. For this insights that dropped by my own life today I am ever so grateful and pray they remain my treasure.