73. getting things done

Sometimes there are things that are for whatever reason not something I want to do or I fear doing it as it seems to complicated for example. But, usually, the best way to deal with it is to just get to it and do it, the best way I can, finding what can and cannot be done and how, but closing the deal. It brings the satisfaction on it´s own to have things done and it is less stressfull then fearing doing it. Today, I´ve done few such things and that brings a drop of peace and satisfaction and a thing or two crossed on the list.

72. basics

Every now and then I become aware how crucial very basic things are for my well-being. Those things that are otherwise something simply there and simply done, things such as sleep. Thing I become very easily aware of it´s importance every time I get too little of it and that fastly affects the rest of my day and life. 

At times we think how sleep takes away from our life and day, I´ve heard people speak of it, but it is really a part of life and love, of who we are and our ability to be that, able to think, to be nice, to be calm, to perform, to be happy, all of it does depend on a good night sleep, amongst other basic things that we otherwise do not consider as crucial in our everyday movements as they really are. So, tonight is to the basic things, to sleep, pleasant food, good company, fresh air, water, sun... Thank you.

71. smell of apples

I bought a softener that smells of apples and used it two days ago, so now my clothes smell of apples. When I was a child I used this hair shampoo that smelled of apples and since then it is a smell of comfort, hope and joy. So charming.

70. dishwashing

There are probably other things today that cought my attention and deserve my gratitude, but dishwashing was my mindful moment of a day, one around rather few other things fell into the place. I´ve mentioned that earlier, I believe, that when we focus in gratitude and mindfulness for a moment in a day, things start moving toward it and from it.

So, while washing pots and dishes, I enjoyed the warmth of the water, the simplicity yet significance of something dirty and smelly becoming clean and usable and simply clearing around and moving things from one side of the sink to the other that creates order out of a disorder. Taking to it and taking to it with an open and happy heart moved me further to accomplish other tasks in the day with the same attitude and it somewhat also rubbed off on the rest of the household members.

It should perhaps be added that I do like dishwashing as an activity, unless I am tired or overburdened, so it may be a good thing to start with something one has easier to surrender to when embarking on finding mindfulness and gratitude in everyday things, but either way, I am thankful for today´s moment with it.

69. reading

I do not know how many times I said it, or have I said it at all, but reading is one of the things I am eternally grateful for; my ability to read, avaliability of books and stories and wisdom and touches and turns and beauty of creation, expressions, expansions, it truly is a glorious thing. And it is all, if at times and but little, alike us watching any corner of the creation; walk of a wind through the grass and a hand of the sun softly landing at a flower, perhaps not seen by many, yet not for a  moment of it less important or less beautiful or less in touch with that what greats it and toward that which it grows, for whom, in whom and towards whom.

68. storm

This morning rain came stormy, I could hear it hitting just outside the window and trees danced whildly. I love a good stormy rain, I´ve probably said that before. Movements of water, sound of it make me feel calm and soothed, they somehow move my inner mechanism to some inner state of purifying thoughts, prayer, comfort... And I find today it coresponds all so well with my need of closing in, cocooning really, turning inward, being somewhat still to reach into new creations, prepare for some changes they may come or need be done. My gratitude today is toward rain, water, wind, moment of pose and separation from the world and  whatever else the day brought, words, thoughts, calm and seed of new movements. Thank you.

67. vulnerability

I came to understand today that what has been bothering me last days can closest be described as vulnerability. I feel as if my skin was made of my heart, I supose, and as if my brain is burning in fire of events, perhaps very small and insignificant that are somehow finding it´s way to build meanings of large proportions, significance too big to ignore and yet unclear how to take. All of it makes me feel vulnerable to both myself and the world.

At times it is easier to remain ignorant, or turn the back to change and movement, easier to still the movements of the heart and discoveries of mind, make them silent, put them to sleep. But, at times we simply turn to a big sensor and get overwhelmed by input received. Perhaps it is the second that I am presented with. A state one can both rejoice over and fear. So, in waiting to find out how all things will turn, I move into  a moment of simple prayer and remain with this vulnerability, trying to hear it, remain with it, yet not be taken by it. For that vulnerability and what it brings and to what it may turn me if handled rightly, for that I am grateful tonight.

66. spectacular sunset

I´ve been sitting here reading while my son sings (Who can sale without wind, song that always, always makes me think of my friend Mohini) when I lifted my head and was taken by a view in front of me.

 There are trees, a forest of them in front of me and I see but tops of them. Half of them, the one further away from me is lit by this orange like light that makes trees shine in such a spectacular way. As the rain is approaching the sky is turning into that pale violet dress of not yet so heavy clouds and few seagulls come white into picture from time to time. Trees are calm, but one can sense the wind approaching.

And as the sun moves the light moves too, from the tree tops toward the sky still light and free from the clouds, colouring that sky pink. It will probably rain, but it is a spectacular moment, a beautiful sunset, a touch and a gift of a day very unexpected. I was just reading a blog of one singer and mother and her take on God and her affirmation of faith and childlike way of expressing happiness  over a beautiful morning moved me, so lifting the head to notice this beautiful sunset felt, if just a bit, like a smile of God and all Divine that is.

just a short break

I haven´t written anyting here for last two days, not because there is nothing to say but because I am temporarily out of words. They will come back, I believe, but I do not wish to force writing here into some dry squeeze. So, for my last two days and days to come, I shall thank for whatever is there and then move into a prayer that I may return to the flow, relax in it and listen to life.

64. Oprah

I guess in many ways whole day was filled with blessings and good touches or small accomplishments, but one thing I really liked was watching an interview with Oprah during the Jaipur literature festival. Rather many great things she said there, or things that resonated with me and inspired me. Particularly her talking of her connection with God and of how giving and sharing is partly why she feels enriched.

It is a bit how I cam over that interview. I posted a comment on her program Oprah in India and when someone asked where they could watch it I went googling to find out, whereupon I came over this interview. It really is sharing, firstly mine, then sharing of a question and then sharing of information out there on internet, and of course, Oprah´s sharing during the interview that made this moment of a day to be touched by and grateful for.

So, today is to Oprah, to God and to sharing, to giving and to acknowledments, gratitude. Thank you and good night, good world.

63. without a word

Today, I am not sure what my gratitude is for as I am comfused a bit how to take the day, so I will simply give gratitude for being, leaving rest without a word for now. Thank you.

62. work done

There is this happiness and satisfaction from work done and for all that led to it and of course for the fact that now everything that was suposed to be painted is painted, I am thankful.

On top of it, there was rather many things to be thankful for today, time with family, learning new things, listening to different lecturing and watching an interesting documentary and perhaps last but not least my own time in the evening song. Much done in different sectors of life in one day is not that usual, so that deserves and extra moment of gratitude. Thank you.

61. Anger

The strongest impact of this day was a feeling of anger, or perhaps closer to disaproval and disagreement. Now, anger does not sound at first as an feeling or action to be grateful for. But, being exposed to it, noticing it, observing it moves me further to think of why it appeared and how and what can I do about it. Which then opens the doors to see chambers inside me that are perhaps darkened or ignored and need a clear up, taking into consideration or opening for use.

I often stop myself before the anger (or disaproval or dislike) comes, thus I am grateful to learn to allow it fully into my presence and my awareness and with it be able to move into further insights of what I need, what the situation may need and asses if and how I can act from it. It is for that I am grateful and look forward learning further how to master my feelings of disaproval or disagreement so they are communicated rightly, toward myself and others, accepted and learned from, thus inspiring better movement forward.

So, today is to those feelings and birth of new things they create. Thank you.

60. unexpected turns

I was looking forward to some time with the song this evening but I did not expect it to happen the way it did. Indeed, I was looking at rather ordinary day when some pieces of the afternoon got rearanged. In it, I ended up agreeing to follow with my family for an hour to few of my husbands teacher friends where we landed some time after 7 in the evening and ended up in what was called a music room, with all kinds of instruments around. My son got quite quick with the drum set and the host pulled out sack-pipes and started to play a great Scottish tune where my husband joined in with what was kind of an Indian drum. I´ve recorded a piece of it and must admit it sounded great and what with the unexpected factor it had even a bit more of a -wow effect to it.

Another cool piece of gifting of the day was that outside in the courtyard where we were invited for a tea (but only tea as I fast from grains today) there was a beautiful and playful dog of which one of my son´s felt slightly fearfull. But then, when we were about to leave, dog approached us with a ball in his jaws and placed it politely in front of my son, who picked it up and threw it away and when the dog came back, again politely placing it and seeing it got near to my son, my son was suddenly touched and transformed and freed from the fear. What a kind and thoughtful soul that dog was and so inspiring in his ways.

At times, when things change and plans move around, even if something we looked forward to is taken away from us, if we stay with the movement and the day, something else will come by, that needed to be so that very day and when right time for things we looked toward arrives, they too will come to us, if meant. So, today is to the unexpected things and turns, to surprises, to small silver linings in a day, to music and laughter and a sunny evening by the lake. Thank you.

59. Details

Repainting a room, as everyone knows, means there is a preparing work, with all those small details after moving everything out and finding it temporary home (and getting overwhelmed by all things we accumulate by time). It means screwing down shelfs, lamps, contacts, curtain hangers, taping edges, sanding rough edges, covering holes... That is what much of my day was about. Details, at times fun, at times boring, things we completely forget are there making the part of our surroundings, making us able to put away a book or turn on the light, accumulate dust, all those small details. For a moment of awarness of their presence and their importance and usefulness, I am thankful.

Also, for colours, for new and clean wall, for moving things, if even slowly, forward and into a change, cleaner, fresher, if even for awhile, for a tomorrow.

58. remake

Chaos, mess, overload, dirt, all this things can be dealt with, remade in some way. Both inward and outward an at times one affects the other. Today was much about dealing with it in both ways. So, I´ve started clearing out one of the rooms, the one that requires new lick of paint and some redecorating, which solves sum of the mess outside and around me, but also seems to have, hopefully, beneficial effects on my inner world. And not only Feng Shui way, although, of course, that too counts.

I´ll add to my acknowledgments of the day a great walk with my kids, as their laughter and sun´s pleasant smile reflected in the flowers, do have healing rays. And a fruit as much as a homemade icecream that awaited after it, together with tiredness after a day of good work. A day that is still chaotic and with lots of things around and out of the place but with gift of creativity, planning and promise of an inspiring and exciting tomorrow.

57. Hugs

Even if these were kind of goodby hugs, there was still a promise of a tomorrow. It was the end of school season day for my children today and of course there were many hugs around. Smell of flowers and grass and summery songs.

Even I got two comforting hugs, one from my older´s teacher, he who will next year become a teacher of my younger one (thus it is realy not a goodby) and another one by a lady I now know for over ten years, since my husband started working in that school, who was having her last working day today as I discovered when going to find her. Neither she is however someone that I will not see again, so hugs were despite goodbys also simply - hugs. Moments of comfort, of saying I appreaciate you, I thank you, I wish you well and come with no bad intentions, a touch.

So, today is to the hugs, good hugs we appreaciate that make us feel calm and happy and looking forward toward another day. Thank you.

56. invisible things

I have been bothered by something last few days, but I do not really know what. It has partly kept me sleeping little and badly, partly having uneasy, vivid and odd dreams. Which made me also tired and off the daily run. So, while there are certainly things, small and big to be grateful for in today, I think that I need to acknowledge this particular feeling of mine, adress it and hope that I will somehow move from this subconscious, invisible sensing to more conscious understanding of whatever is there so I may be able to give it attention and whatever else it may need from me.

So, today, I am grateful for invisible things inside and around us, particularly for the understanding of their presence and need to give them time, attention, understanding, kindness and, I guess, love. Thank you.

55. Sunday

Days that feel ordinary and give moments of leisure, drive, reading, watching something, learning something, spending time with the family, resting, taking a look at the nature and the sun, simply being in ordinary moments of life, without something particular of a goal in it more then being. I am grateful for such days, moments of pose, reacharging, rest, moments when life does not have to be anything in particular, where all expectations and demands can feel ok but not overpowering. To such days and many more, I give thanks.

54. children, again

To children, for their inquisitivness, openess, readiness to be themselves and speak and share their minds and hearts, willingness to explore, to listen, happiness with small things, ability to play, desire to learn, ability to say no and expect to be understood on it without feeling hurt for it and ability to talk things through... And for much more. For their presence and their joy (as well as tears) and their wonder and appreaciation. For them so kindly giving of their association. For being such wonderful teachers. Thank you.

53. Presence

The most prominent thing in this day was a headache, so, although I cannot come up with some good insight to it, my first moment of gratitude goes to headache, for whatever purpose it has and whatever I may have done or not done because of it. So, thank you.

Then, my gratitude goes to few pleasant surprises, to joy that heart can experience despite headaches or troubles, joy caused by lovingly executed heart song, listening of which brought peace. And gratitude is there for people, dear and wonderful people that simply exist around me and knowledge of their presence and touch of their life make me feel peaceful and calm and happy and above all greatful and inspired, as if touched really by the hand of a Divine. So, thank you.

And, good night, good world.

52. laughter

There are times and days when I get taken by seriousness of life and existance and when I need to lighten up a bit. At times consciously, at times unconsciously, but I somehow menage to get to one of the cures and ways for moving away from getting overly serious to the point of being anxious. The simple way for it is - laughter.

Today I ended up laughing few times and with every moment I felt closer to simple happiness, to lightening and even better insights to things at hand. So, today, I am grateful for laughter and people and things that make me happier and more sobre in that way. And I pray that laughter may always be sent my way, especially when I need it, and that I may hear it. Thank you.

51. soap bubbles

Today I am grateful for soap bubbles, sunshine, herbal tea and a whisper of a story. Soap bubbles! Who has not been taken by their simple beauty, by their spheric body shining in small rainbows, a ball of colours?! Everyone of us carries a child inside that loves balls and rainbows, simple expressions of beauty, love and joy. I walked today into a space of soap bubbles, created by a girl outside my door and as one of them seemed to chase me and another one came toward me, I could not but smile. However temporary a symbol it may be, it is also a sign that can so easily be describing a soul, free, flying, light, beautiful, delicate, perfect in form, shiny, transparent and filled with colours and bursting in joy, reflecting sunrays and bading in them. So, above all, today I am grateful for soap bubbles. And grateful to this little girl for creating them.

50. Old friends

Today an old friend rung at the door, one I haven´t seen for awhile as he moved to the neighbouring country some time ago. He was a friend who returned the kindness when I really needed it in my life in the past and for that I am forever grateful to him and always happy to hear of his progress and given a chance to wish him well.

Another friend rung on the phone, the one that lost her mother recently and I was grateful to be of use to be spoken to and offer, if even a virtual, shoulder to cry and few words of comfort. And happy and thankful to hear of good things turning, if but slowly, on her life path.

To these more deep gifts of the day I add the sun and the downpour of the rain and an extra free room in the laundry area so I could wash more then counted on. And music my son produced while I wrote and worked today. Few pictures taken in the rain and smell of the herbs on my balcony. Small things that moved my heart in a good way by their touches and presence. Thank you. Good night, good world.

49. silence

48. feared

And then there are days when I wish I simply did not wake up or walked out of the door. Days like today. But I still did it, because it had to be done. Days that are remembered as one of the worst days in a year, or even life. Yet I walked through them. So, here it is to the difficult days, to the days that bring out shadows and deamons living inside me, days that present me with the feared and left me alive to live with it. Here is to days that I am left with guilt, with confusion, with uncertanity and with the knowledge that some things are forever taken away and that roads will never be the same no matter how we wish them to. To the days when I am left aware of my aloness and forced to deal with it. I give gratitude to it, to such this day. And I surrender to it.

47.to rest

Today I have no difficulty finding things to be thankful for. Nice association, helpuful hands, wonderfully inspiring and alive children, deeply meditative song, great food, rain and much more. But at this point in time what I am really greatful for is the fact that God has created night and ability for us to rest, to recover, to check out, and that we had been given a Sunday, for rather similar purpose. Or that I am allowed to take it that way and simply rest. After a good day, I feel tired, in a good way, but slipping away. So, good night, good world.

46. Quotes

Quotes! I am grateful for quotes today, for written words that touch and inspire me, that give home to my always wondering heart and give shelter to my mind that searches to recognize it´s longings. Grateful for my time in prayer too and for the rain. With it of all the quotes I met today, many and following included,  of Ivo Andric who 50 years ago got a Nobel Prize for literature, here is the one particularly to the point for the day: 

"When there is a rainy summer, whole world complains. Fruit vendors complain and hotel owners and villagers. People from the city and lazy lady, they complain, because their vacations are disturbed. But, have you noticed flowers during a rainy summer? They are bigger and more beautiful and shinier in colour and form, especially in colour. I see it as a silent glory."