67. vulnerability

I came to understand today that what has been bothering me last days can closest be described as vulnerability. I feel as if my skin was made of my heart, I supose, and as if my brain is burning in fire of events, perhaps very small and insignificant that are somehow finding it´s way to build meanings of large proportions, significance too big to ignore and yet unclear how to take. All of it makes me feel vulnerable to both myself and the world.

At times it is easier to remain ignorant, or turn the back to change and movement, easier to still the movements of the heart and discoveries of mind, make them silent, put them to sleep. But, at times we simply turn to a big sensor and get overwhelmed by input received. Perhaps it is the second that I am presented with. A state one can both rejoice over and fear. So, in waiting to find out how all things will turn, I move into  a moment of simple prayer and remain with this vulnerability, trying to hear it, remain with it, yet not be taken by it. For that vulnerability and what it brings and to what it may turn me if handled rightly, for that I am grateful tonight.